Selfish
by TrustNoOne182
Summary: Merlin and Arthur have found themselves falling in love, and are now struggling with the reality of the situation. This is a companion piece to my stories Passion and Love. Merther.


Merlin was heading home one night when a familiar pair of strong arms reached out and pulled him into a deserted hallway. Arthur pressed Merlin against the wall and began kissing him, his hands roaming all over Merlin's body.

"I thought you were with your father," Merlin whispered as Arthur began kissing his way down Merlin's neck.

"I was, but he wouldn't stop telling me how important it is that I get married, so I left." Merlin felt that familiar knot begin to form in his stomach, the same one that formed whenever Arthur mentioned the possibility of marriage to someone else. He pushed the feeling aside and focused instead on kissing Arthur, who was getting more handsy the longer the kiss went on.

"Shouldn't we maybe go somewhere more private?" Merlin whispered as Arthur pulled off his neckerchief and kissed the exposed skin. Arthur mumbled something incoherent as he began to rock his hips into Merlin's.

The sound of approaching footsteps forced them apart, and they hurried down the hallway and away from the steps. A few moments later they were back in Arthur's room, and once the door was locked Merlin came and joined Arthur in bed.

"You know I shouldn't stay tonight, Gaius seems to think I have a girlfriend hidden somewhere in the castle," Merlin said as he slipped off his boots and climbed into bed with Arthur.

"Let him think what he wants," Arthur said before he started kissing Merlin. "Maybe if I sneak out to see you my father will assume I have girlfriend and will leave me alone about this whole marriage thing."

"Or maybe he will have you followed and we will be found out and I will be exiled or killed and you will be forced to marry the first idiot your father can convince to take you," Merlin replied.

"Does that make you an idiot? Since you seem so willing to take me, and let me do as I please with you?" Merlin laughed then pulled Arthur in for a kiss-now was not the moment to be discussing the possible consequences of their actions. They could worry about that in the morning.

* * *

Merlin woke up the next morning to find Arthur watching him sleep. A smile crept across his lips as Merlin's eyes opened, a smile that made Merlin start to grin.

"Was I talking in my sleep again?" Merlin asked, curious as to why Arthur was so interested in him. Arthur laughed and then leaned in and softly kissed Merlin.

"Just about how ruggedly handsome I am," Arthur said.

Merlin laughed and then curled into Arthur, wishing that they could stay in that moment forever. Soon they would need to get up and attend to their separate duties. At night they were free to do as they pleased, as long as no one caught them, but during the day they were forced to play the game of master and servant.

"I wish you would worry less. You act as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders-why don't you let me help you with that burden?" Arthur whispered. He ran his hand down Merlin's arms, the soft touch of his fingertips sent a shiver down Merlin's spine.

"Every time you mention marrying someone else, even though you're joking, it reminds me of the reality of the situation. What we are doing is so...it just feels so right, yet I know it can't last. I love you, Arthur. I love being with you and I love the way you make me feel. I know you need to marry for the sake of Camelot but selfishly I want to keep you all to myself."

"I want the same thing, Merlin. I don't want to marry someone simply because it will benefit the kingdom I want to finally do something for myself. I want you, I feel sick just thinking about being with someone else."

Merlin propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at Arthur. For a long time they just looked at each other, both mulling over what the other had said. Eventually Merlin leaned down and kissed Arthur. It was a long and sweet kiss, full of emotion and longing.

Though things could never remain the way they were Merlin was happy to continue as they were for now. He could only hope it would be a long time before Arthur was forced to marry.

 **A/N: This has been mostly finished for a long time, I just never got around to editing it. I'm sure there will be more to come, and they may start getting a bit angsty. Thanks for reading, until next time!**


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